Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
