He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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