Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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