yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
