No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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