you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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