True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
