LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
