i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you will always have a special place in my vag
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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