he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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