You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
soo... how was my night?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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