a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Randomize
