I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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