What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
