This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
