If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
