THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
