You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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