i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
