its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
