Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
