Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
