she was so not down for the gang bang
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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