Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
