i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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