My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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