i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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