i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Randomize
