its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
