Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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