He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
