Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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