where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
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