thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
