bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
