She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
