Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize