would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
