BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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