So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
