Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
