Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
This is not my ceiling
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
