Joe is yelling at the trees again.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
