And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
