i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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