I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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