Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
