Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
