idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
