Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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