Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
