I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize