Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
