Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
