i would punch a child for taco bell
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
