There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize