i just wanna soil my oats bro
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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