I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i think i just lost a toe
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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