ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
