dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
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