It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
