So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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