On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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