In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
