Jerry, you need to find god
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
