First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize