I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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