I want you more than these girls want KFC
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
