If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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