I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
