I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
