Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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