I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
