butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
