yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
