Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
