Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
