youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
