dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I believe in your delicious
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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