is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize