Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
